Taking the Temperature: Red or Blue?

The Red vs. Blue chart is a sharp little tool to take a quick temperature check when I’m in environments that may feel weighty and have left me drained or exhausted. I’ve had to take stock of why that was so and where I needed to make a shift in my interpersonal operations. The common thread of these various moments was me operating in the Red: taking responsibility FOR something that wasn’t mine to carry or own. I am not responsible FOR another person’s feelings or actions. I am not designed to carry their emotions or trauma.

However, I am responsible TO honor others and to walk in integrity before God. I am responsible TO manage myself and own my actions, while being open and empathetic to others with whom I’m in community. As a leader, living in the Blue takes wisdom and listening to Holy Spirit in each situation. Wisdom allows validation of another’s feelings, opinions and perspectives while not assuming responsibility FOR them.

Operating in the Blue also takes strong internal boundaries, with the helpful visual of imagining a hula hoop around me. I can be secure and solid “in my own hula hoop” when I operate in the Blue instead of the Red, even when everything else may be crazy around me. It also takes true friends who will check me with, “Are you in the Red or the Blue right now?” Dr. Henry Cloud is incredible resource when it comes to boundaries.

Some of the contributing factors when modus operandi is Red vs. Blue can be: birth order (any other firstborns out there?), social conditioning, past experiences, dysfunctional relationships, abuse, temperaments, or family culture. It’s good to pause and take stock of what might currently be pulling me to the Red or Blue, so as to allow the next level of God’s healing and growth to occur.

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